A Frustrated Artist's Newfound Talent

Drawing is the first talent I discovered. Ever since I was 2 years old, I already knew how to hold a pencil and how to move the pencil’s charcoal along a piece of paper to make a visual representation of something. No one taught me how to do it (at least that’s what the adults say). Ever since, drawing had been my favorite hobby. I would draw animals, dinosaurs, tribal houses and all the stuff I watched on National Geographic Channel (yes, I was too young to prefer National Geographic over some crappy cartoons). Although I enjoyed drawing, I never cared if my drawing sucks or not, until I was in the third grade. There was this seatmate who’s also into drawing. He draws a lot better than mine. He can draw different cartoon characters, anime characters and people. I envied him until I stopped drawing. I never draw since then. I lost the passion.

Then lately, I had this realization that my first talent will always be my talent. That drawing shall always be my passion; all I need is to develop it. However, it was already too late. I realized that I was being too idealistic. I no longer had the motivation. I was just forcing myself to copy anime drawing styles. I used to think that drawing ala japanese manga style is the true essence of drawing. Lately, I've realized that drawing (or other artistic abilities for that matter) is more than creating visual representations. An artist must always be inspired, emotionally. No matter how you persevere in practicing and refining your drawing skills, if you don’t have the passion for it, you will never be able to develop it. Yes, I don’t really have the passion at all. I've lost the passion for drawing anymore. I am not an artist, after all.

Maybe because I had discovered another personal talent: writing. At first, I hesitated to develop it. I refused to recognize writing as a talent. I began to write when I was in High School. Although I never wrote for our school paper, I wrote for school projects and essays. That’s where I discovered writing as potential. Now, I want to develop it because I am motivated to write. Recently, I had a lot of questions about life, society and the world. Ever since I discovered the internet, I had absorbed enough knowledge about what’s currently happening in our society and the world.I don’t have to keep my convictions silent. I don’t have to keep my knowledge. I have my opinion about things I deem interesting to scrutinize. These are the things that motivate me to write. I don’t have to be imaginative and creative to write. I am a more straight-forward and analytical writer. I prefer reading blogs, newspapers and magazines than novels and fan fictions. I am always inside my head musing and theorizing over things. Instead of letting it waste, I could share what I like to share and I could voice out what I want to voice out.

Lastly, from looking at what I wrote, I think I could express myself more in writing.

Writing is definitely for me.